Lessons I Learnt From Life's Heartbreaks
Life hits you hard at times and not only break us but shatters us, leaving us with no other choice but to pick up the pieces of our lives and put them together. These are the lessons I learnt from such life moments.
We all have those stories...
We all have those stories, that only your best friends know about because the shame of anyone else finding out horrifies you. One such story for me is the time I fell in love because IÂ wanted to be loved. After a few years of being single and mingling I was tired and just wanted to be in love and loved deeply.Â So I consciouslyÂ choose the first person I clicked with to love. Big Mistake!, he later told me he loved me but was not in love with me.Â That she made him feel so alive, he felt like he can fly when he was around her. Imagine the knife to my heart at those words. It made me question everything about my self-worth. If she made you feel so happy and alive, then what did that say about me and our time together. That one-sided love affair destroyed me for a while, I lost perspective of myself completely. My road to recovery started with one of those best friends screaming at me over the phone to LET HIM GO!!!. Calling out my obsession with wanting him back and my unwillingness to accept the truth that this experience had reached its end.
How did I end up here?
This moment left me confused and wondering what I did wrong to end up here. What turn did I make the wrong choice. The irony is we as women always know where and when we went wrong.
Intuition is defined by Webster as "the power or faculty of attaining direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought." I at times think about intuition as that wise person who because of life can tell you exactly what steps are beneficial for your life. I must admit there are many times in life I turned off that wise voice. Whether, I was blinded by habits, desire or emotions I choose another road despite the warnings. I know I didn't listen to my intuition a few times too many.
Many of these situations did force me to learn some hard but necessary lessons, lessons I still have to remind myself of today. These lessons I realise are never only for one situation or time, these lessons can impact different aspects of your life once you remain open.
Remember Your Essence
I think this is one of those reoccurring lessons in my life so far. I lost the idea of self during my life at times. As foolish as it sounds now, I underestimated the importance of my identity in many situations. I give away myself cheaply without care disregarding how this impacts not only me but also a person's treatment of me. I didn't realise I give others permission to devalue me because I didn't emphasise the value of myself. Losing your core leaves you drifting within these moments because if you don't know who you are anymore, you start making decisions dismissing the guidance of the value-based aspects of yourself. I appreciate how important this lesson in my life. It impacts everything I do, from my interaction with family, friends and strangers to how I run this blog and write. Remembering who I am at my core is something I say to myself almost daily. In the end, "to thy self, be true".
Allow one chapter to close so another can be opened
"Let it go", my best friend said to me, "you are obsessed". By this point, I didn't know who I was anymore. My intuition and essence were silenced. Finally, I accepted the truth, it was time to move on. I realise now a part of me was not letting go because of my ego. I wanted to prove that I still had worth that I was not so easily discardable. I took this one person's decision and allowed it to cast a blanket on my worth in all areas of my life. Closing a chapter in your life is a test of character. This decision and journey bring forth things one never knew they needed to learn. Learning when to close a chapter to move on to another one, applies to all areas of life. As I type today, there is one aspect of my life in which I know it is time to allow the new chapter to open. I am aware that I am the one holding back my growth and success by my behaviours and actions.
Respect the lessons
The thing about lessons is that no matter the situation you learnt it from, it will pop up in any situation in life in the future to remind you about its importance. During these moments, listen to your intuition, remember your essence and stay open to the chapter that may close so that one can be open. Honour what you learnt from the lessons as they greet you. The self you created from the shattered pieces that allows you to stand today deserves that respect.Â